Valentine's Day for the Romantically-Challenged

Its a slow work day, therefore a productive blogging day. I am currently waiting for some dictation to be returned to me for revision (I love being able to dictate, by the way. I only wish I had a secretary during college and grad school, I would have dictated away!!! And yes, the pun is intended).

Anyway, as I was waiting and finishing up my lunch, a co-worker dropped by in need of some advice for Valentine's Day. He has only been dating this girl for three months, but he really likes her and it's clear that they are something more than dating, but less than boyfriend-girlfriend. ( I leave you, the reader, to ponder as to how unclear their status actually is and specifically ask non-married readers to clarify the current lexicon for the various states of dating and what they signify. Though I haven't been married long and remember my own dating woes quite vividly, I would like a fresh perspective on this topic to see if things are still as I remember. Last digression, I promise). He wants to do something, but not quite sure what and claims to be romantically-challenged.

So, I suggested that he take her on a good, old-fashioned, proper date. You know, the kind you see in the movie where the guy comes to pick the girl up at her apartment and brings her flowers. They then make small talk and head out for a nice dinner, followed by a nightcap and he drops her off at home. I personally have never been on such a date, but I remember really wanting to go on one when I was single. And no, that is not an indirect jab at my husband---he does just fine in the dating department.

My suggestion lead to additional questions as to how fancy the place should be, what makes a place romantic, does he still need to get her a gift, etc. So then, I suggested he make dinner for both of them, get a bottle of wine, and go over to her house for a picnic. An indoor one, of course. But, he cant' cook, so that's a problem. And this solution doesnt' necessarily solve the other issues about gifts and costs.

So then I decided I didnt' have anymore ideas for him and dropped the bomb on him: I actually don't really like Valentine's Day and think it's an unnecessarily cruel way to make people feel bad about being single AND to force those of us who aren't single into spending money on rather impersonal sentiment. He looked at me like I had three heads.

"Isn't your husband taking you out?" he asked. "Yes, he is." "And wouldn't you be upset if he didn't?" "Yes, I would. In fact, I specifically asked him to do something special this year." "Then how can you say you dislike Valentine's Day? Doesn't that make you a hypocrite?" "No, I do not feel like a hypocrite, I feel like a slave to convention and am weak for not sticking to my guns and insisting on taking part in the farce because last year we didn't and I felt very sad and left out!" "Wow, that is deep and it sounds like you have issues." And then, he promptly left my office to search for another, less crazy woman to give him advice.

The thing is, I don't think I am alone in this feeling. I don't know many people who look forward to Valentine's Day. None of my single friends are counting down the days until someone rubs their singledom (which, for most of them, is fairly rewarding and often far more exciting than being taken) in their face. My male friends in relationships definitely do not look forward to the stress associated with planning the perfect date for a particular night just because Hallmark says so. And, though the women I know in relationships appreciate a nice night out, I sincerely doubt they would mind not doing something on Valentine's Day if other people didn't make such a big deal about it or if they felt that they could get their significant others to do something romantic on a random night.

Maybe we should all boycott Valentine's Day? Maybe Valentine's Day is amateur night for romantics? Like New Year's Eve is for partiers---one night of the year, people who are otherwise not big partiers feel the need to have CRAZY plans just so they aren't left out when everyone else discusses their CRAZY plans all through December. The non-partiers, or amateurs, then come out in droves and ruin it for the rest of us who party all the time and New Year's always ends up being a big let down for everyone. For those of you who enjoy Valentine's Day and love doing something cute and romantic, goodonya. But for those of us who are romantically-challenged 364 days of the year and think, Valentine's Day is overrated, let's not jump on the bandwagon!!! Let's not buy the hype and instead, think for ourselves and do what we want on February 14th!!! Let's go to a movie, or stay in, or do whatever we feel like, instead of going through the motions or feeling bad because we don't have anyone to go through the motions with!!! The truly romantic ones of the lot will appreciate us not cluttering the reservation books and snapping up all the red roses. . .

The only thing is . . . let's just all agree, though, to not start boycotting Valentine's Day until next year because Mister is taking me to a really nice restaurant next weekend and I don't want to risk staying in on the off-chance that enough of you don't come around by then. . . .